Sacramento, Calif., April 13, 2010 – A routine, temporary foster care placement through EMQ FamiliesFirst recently became a special adoption.   “If they go home I will be sad forever, but if they don’t bond they will be broken forever, and I am willing to make that sacrifice,” said this extraordinary foster parent, Vickie Nelson, who was called on to care for newborn twins so their birth mother could complete detox.  While adoptions happen nearly every day, this one stood out, and illustrates the love and dedication typical of foster parents at EMQ FamiliesFirst. The agency carefully certifies families, then supports them with training and counseling to ensure a success for those families and the children they take in.  EMQ FamiliesFirst is California’s largest children’s services agency.

It began in March 2008, when the placement team received a routine call for the 30-day placement of four-week-old twin girls.  Born four weeks premature, the girls weighed just four and five pounds.  The 30-day period had been established so that their biological mother could go through detox at a local drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility.  The girls, Lauren and Lorraine, were placed with some of the agency’s most seasoned and skilled foster parents, Andre and Vickie Nelson.  The Nelsons knew that the assignment called for them to care for and love the newborns for a few weeks, then return them to their mother.  They took the girls in and set about giving them the best care they could. 

Over the next four weeks, the babies thrived.  They both gained weight and started sleeping through the night.  Lorraine, who had a heart murmur, started showing signs that the hole in her heart was closing up.

At the end of the four weeks, it was discovered that the girls’ biological mother had left the rehab facility before treatment was complete, and her whereabouts were unknown.  The babies were then classified as standard foster placements and the Nelsons continued their dedication and care for the babies.  Although the Nelsons agreed to remain as the foster parents, their feelings were mixed.  They knew that having the girls long-term meant that they would need to bond with their caregivers for the babies’ emotional well being, but they also knew that the girls could go home at just about any time.

By June of that year, the girls’ mom still had not complied with services and had just a few weeks left to begin her services and remain eligible to get her babies back.  Soon after, she successfully entered a drug rehab program and completed the detox process.  The Nelsons were happy that the mother was getting her life together and were willing to do what it took to make the girls’ transition back to their mother go as smoothly as possible.  Still, they were understandably sad that their time with the girls would soon end.

The mother continued in her treatment and started having weekly visits with her daughters.  A relapse affected other timelines needed to regain custody, but the Nelsons continued to support her while stressing the importance of her staying clean.  In addition to the care they provided children in need, the Nelsons had a well-deserved reputation for showing love and offering guidance to the children’s biological parents.  The Nelsons loved the twins and had many sleepless nights knowing their time with them was ending.  Regardless, they continued to prepare for the eventual return to the girls’ mother and began weekly visits with their maternal grandparents.

The Nelsons continued to give the biological mother parenting advice that was both helpful and straightforward.  And they set limits with the twins’ mother, which was a good parallel to her recovery.

Almost one year to the day the girls were placed with the Nelsons, Vickie received a call from their mother.  She was crying and said that she’d been doing a lot of thinking about her daughters and the life that they had with the Nelsons.  She had come to the conclusion that even though she desperately wanted to be the mother that her girls needed, she also knew that she could not raise them and maintain her sobriety at the same time.  She asked Vickie if she and Andre would consider adopting the girls and if she, as their mother, could still maintain some sort of visitation with them.  Crying, and connected by the love both women shared for the twins, they agreed that it was in the girls’ best interest for them to stay with the Nelsons – and the biological mother could maintain monthly contact.

In December 2009, the girls were officially named Amy Lauren and Lily Lorraine and adopted by Vickie and Andre Nelson.  The twins’ biological mother, whom they call Auntie, completely supported the adoption.

The girls continue to thrive in what is really the only home they’ve ever known.

EMQ FamiliesFirst uses its experience and resources to certify caring foster families and then supports those families with extensive training and services so that they can, in turn, provide a loving, nurturing environment for the children they bring into their homes.

About EMQ FamiliesFirst
EMQ FamiliesFirst does whatever it takes to help children and families in crisis.  The agency is recognized for innovative mental health treatment, foster care and social services that help families recover from trauma, abuse and addiction, and rebuild their lives.  EMQ FamiliesFirst fights for sustainable change and advocates for improvements in the local, state and federal systems that serve children in need.  For more information, please visit http://www.emqff.org.

Editorial Contact:
Kristine Austin, EMQ FamiliesFirst
(408) 364-4029 kaustin@emqff.org